On social life

"If I wasn't me I'd be inclined to agree, but you'd almost certainly reply with 'look who's talking', or something of that nature" (On my lack of social life)

"You call going to galleries, lectures and concerts alone a social life?! The most social interaction I had was explaining to some Spaniards that it was in Latin"

"I am currently tracing the tube map for fun." (Why not?)

"Now you're going to tell me you don't associate me with mockery" (WRONG!)

"You were not there for guinea pig!" (I was)

"What like I am so uncool I have looped back around and come out at ubercool?"(something like that)

"Coolness is not really a scale of reference that can be applied to me.It would be like trying to measure a yardstick in metres."

On his Fan Club

"Eek, you are setting up my fan site!" (Too true)

"Could you kindly let me out of this corner?" (On being cornered by myself [Helen Wheeler], Miranda Murphy and Robyn Bosworth-Davis)

"Yes, incredibly so,though the hordes of girls mobbing me everytime I leave the house are getting a bit annoying" (On whether he is fond of his fans)

"Oh, her, brilliant" (On Naomi Karas)

"If you dare do three cheers for me I'll kill you!" (I live, to make the site)

On Education/Class

"I would reassure/comment but the state education system is quite beyond me"

"How snotty am I?"

Miscellaneous

"HEAVY STORM!!!!! - LIGHT STORM!!!!" (Comparing two sound effects)

"97% water, or something like that" (Cucumbers)

"I turned them all on to warm them up" (Lights, not as Miranda thought, people)

"You are evil" (I know!)

"You're just trying to get another quote!" (Well, yeah)

"You can address me as (in order of preference) McCarthy, Edward, or Eddy (never followed by baby). Note that Sweetie is not on that list. Or call me 'Sir'" (After I called him sweetie)

"Good girl" (After I said I wouldn't call him sweetie again)

"Well if you hit a blancmange with a stick it [the stick] wouldnt break."(On fencing)

"Green looks like vomit." (Edward in defence of messing with my artistic vision on this site)

"Well, I claim intellectual copyright on everything I say, so ha" (Oops...) 

"Ho and a bottle of rum"(Proof that Edward is a pirate) 

"I hope Britney Spears knows about this" (On the whole rock'n'roll death at 27 thing)

Mean things about me or the fanclub.

Random people living in the vicinity of  Blackheath with the intellectual age of a small polar bear,but far less cute" (Edward's description of my "lot")

"Your existance is just a thorn in my side" (Edward is this charming to me all the time)

"Is Helen still with you?  If yes, £5 to give her a blackeye."(*sobsob*)

"You weren't funny at the start, and you aren't funny now."(He may have had a point.)

"Helen isn't worth £10 anyway." (I have it on reasonable authority I am, but that's another story)

" *NAME CENSORED* is a terminal liar, and you are suicidally indecisive."(Subject forgotton)

"I think that is more repetetive, forced, scary eyes laughter than the sort of laughter one got when one heard Bush has choked on a pretzel."(one whether something was hilarious, or just plain tragic)

"How's the whole bisexuality thing?"(Rachel, I blame you for comments such as this.)

"I don't know how I'll resist the temptation to order 500B pencils."(neither do I...)